There is also a 4th category of houses...that which Chris makes.
Bartles out!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Chris Has Issues
Anyone else notice that Chris' blog has a lot of references to poop? I think he needs help.
This is my second annual gingerbread house decorating day. Nothing like taking an already rambunctious family and loading them up with sugar, sugar and more sugar, lightly covered with a coating of fructose and sucrose. Jon's house collapsed under the weight of the candy roof and recognized it for what it.... a pile of candy and gingerbread, which IS kinda the point in the end.
He was in the loud, crazy room. In the dining room were the serious folks. Chris was in there, but he should have been in the loud, crazy room, since he was trying to build a unicorn... house... thing...
In this family, as in all families, gingerbread builders fall into three camps: 1) create a house that is as realistic as possible using candy for all the typical elements 2) Create a house that is decorated in a symmetrical - or at least creative - pattern, regardless of whether or not it recreates an actual house and 3) Believes that the entire purpose of the house is to serve as a candy carrier. Nothing wrong with either, but the enthusiasm vs. seriousness of the event varies with each. the realistic and pattern builders are far more serious and focus, where as the candy coaters would be content with a sandblaster of M&Ms and NECCO wafers aimed at a frosting covered gingerbread house.
Things are getting almost eerily quiet now... most of the candy coaters are now playing Xbox or already hitting their sugar crash. The others are still focused on their houses. The adults are starting to clean up. I apologize in advance for the green food coloring stains on the kitchen floor....
-Derek
This is my second annual gingerbread house decorating day. Nothing like taking an already rambunctious family and loading them up with sugar, sugar and more sugar, lightly covered with a coating of fructose and sucrose. Jon's house collapsed under the weight of the candy roof and recognized it for what it.... a pile of candy and gingerbread, which IS kinda the point in the end.
He was in the loud, crazy room. In the dining room were the serious folks. Chris was in there, but he should have been in the loud, crazy room, since he was trying to build a unicorn... house... thing...
In this family, as in all families, gingerbread builders fall into three camps: 1) create a house that is as realistic as possible using candy for all the typical elements 2) Create a house that is decorated in a symmetrical - or at least creative - pattern, regardless of whether or not it recreates an actual house and 3) Believes that the entire purpose of the house is to serve as a candy carrier. Nothing wrong with either, but the enthusiasm vs. seriousness of the event varies with each. the realistic and pattern builders are far more serious and focus, where as the candy coaters would be content with a sandblaster of M&Ms and NECCO wafers aimed at a frosting covered gingerbread house.
Things are getting almost eerily quiet now... most of the candy coaters are now playing Xbox or already hitting their sugar crash. The others are still focused on their houses. The adults are starting to clean up. I apologize in advance for the green food coloring stains on the kitchen floor....
-Derek
Middle of the end? Or the end of the middle? Or the second time I'm blogging? I don't know. I want to eat some candy.
OK...so besides from being fun, this event has thus far been torturous...I can't eat any of the candy and I like most of the candy here. Emily just interrupted me and is telling everyone I am blogging. I'm going to poop on her house later. She ruins everything. Oh, wait. That's me. Where was I?
I don't remember. I remember one time that I ate some candy from a bag of candy, and I only ate a piece or two, but then the whole bag was gone. Someone ate my candy and punched me in the stomach. Oh, I remember where I was now. Sorry. Diarrhea of the hands or typewriter or keyboard or notebook or whatever.
So I couldn't eat any of the candy I used to make my gingerbread house/unicorn hybrid. I like unicorni. Sounds better than unicorns. Mine came out horribly because the good ideas in my head didn't look good when they actually got made. Plus, I didn't realize that Karyn, Katie, Bethy, Jenn, Emily, Carlye and Carlos take this very seriously. I would have come prepared. I could make bricks like Karyn, or roofs with frosted mini-wheats like Carlos or something that didn't look like it came from Rudolf's butt like everyone else.
They're talking about me blogging. Fooey on all of them.
Back to the issues. I suck at this and, because it's my job, I ruin everything. Johnny's house fell over (I'm hiring him to build Jenn a house), as did Markies, I think. This is a very long middle of the evening/afternoon/day blog.
Bartles out.
I don't remember. I remember one time that I ate some candy from a bag of candy, and I only ate a piece or two, but then the whole bag was gone. Someone ate my candy and punched me in the stomach. Oh, I remember where I was now. Sorry. Diarrhea of the hands or typewriter or keyboard or notebook or whatever.
So I couldn't eat any of the candy I used to make my gingerbread house/unicorn hybrid. I like unicorni. Sounds better than unicorns. Mine came out horribly because the good ideas in my head didn't look good when they actually got made. Plus, I didn't realize that Karyn, Katie, Bethy, Jenn, Emily, Carlye and Carlos take this very seriously. I would have come prepared. I could make bricks like Karyn, or roofs with frosted mini-wheats like Carlos or something that didn't look like it came from Rudolf's butt like everyone else.
They're talking about me blogging. Fooey on all of them.
Back to the issues. I suck at this and, because it's my job, I ruin everything. Johnny's house fell over (I'm hiring him to build Jenn a house), as did Markies, I think. This is a very long middle of the evening/afternoon/day blog.
Bartles out.
I ruin everything!
The time is now 1:52...eight minutes before the actual start of the day's events that will be described here. I, Christopher Bartles, have already been accused by everyone of ruining everything, which I completely agree with, as well as relish in the fact that I can still work my elite magic. The topic for the day will be making Gingerbread houses. It is the day after Thanksgiving. The day's events have not even begun to unfurl...stay tuned...you will not be dissapointed.
I'd say keep it disney, but I might not be able to if another person tells me I ruin everything. And the Malcs aren't even here yet...bring on the rubber gloves.
Bartles out!
I'd say keep it disney, but I might not be able to if another person tells me I ruin everything. And the Malcs aren't even here yet...bring on the rubber gloves.
Bartles out!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Memoriam
I wrote this back in mid-September and just wanted to post it now that some time has passed...
This blog is usually full of hilarity and craziness from the Johnson family, but today I'm writing about something sad... the passing of Ralph Austin, a.k.a. "Pap-Pap."
Unfortunately, by the time Meghan's and I met, Pap-Pap was what may be considered "past his prime," having already gone through heart surgery and suffering a stroke. But even at that stage, I could see the spark that is so evident in the rest of the family. So while I didn't get a chance to get to know him well, I have gotten to know those who were influenced so heavily by him: his family and friends.
From them and their values, I think I have learned something of what it was like to know Pap-Pap. Among them: a strong sense of family and the importance of friends. A love of laughter and sharing good times. A passion for travel, science, camping and sports. I look at the family that he has helped to create and his imprint is all over: grandchildren who work in the sciences, close-knit families with strong bonds, laughter at every family gathering and even everyone's love for playing and watching sports. I can only imagine his pride in seeing his children and grandchildren (and someday great-grandchildren) carry on those values for other generations, and even into other families.
Even though I didn't know Pap-Pap well and can only know what he was like through those who were influenced by him, I am grateful to him - his values helped to influence a family that I am soon to become part of, and for almost three years has welcomed me with open arms and a warm embrace. At the very least, I'm think he would be glad to know that because of knowing his family, I now enjoy camping and watching soccer games! We'll see if NASCAR is next.
From now on, I will be able to know Pap-Pap the person only through stories and photos, but I will learn more of Ralph Austin - the man, the father, the husband, the grandfather - through the wonderful family he and Nana helped create, and I can't think of a better tribute to him than saying what a wonderful impact he had on those who knew him, and how much the people who love them appreciate it.
This blog is usually full of hilarity and craziness from the Johnson family, but today I'm writing about something sad... the passing of Ralph Austin, a.k.a. "Pap-Pap."
Unfortunately, by the time Meghan's and I met, Pap-Pap was what may be considered "past his prime," having already gone through heart surgery and suffering a stroke. But even at that stage, I could see the spark that is so evident in the rest of the family. So while I didn't get a chance to get to know him well, I have gotten to know those who were influenced so heavily by him: his family and friends.
From them and their values, I think I have learned something of what it was like to know Pap-Pap. Among them: a strong sense of family and the importance of friends. A love of laughter and sharing good times. A passion for travel, science, camping and sports. I look at the family that he has helped to create and his imprint is all over: grandchildren who work in the sciences, close-knit families with strong bonds, laughter at every family gathering and even everyone's love for playing and watching sports. I can only imagine his pride in seeing his children and grandchildren (and someday great-grandchildren) carry on those values for other generations, and even into other families.
Even though I didn't know Pap-Pap well and can only know what he was like through those who were influenced by him, I am grateful to him - his values helped to influence a family that I am soon to become part of, and for almost three years has welcomed me with open arms and a warm embrace. At the very least, I'm think he would be glad to know that because of knowing his family, I now enjoy camping and watching soccer games! We'll see if NASCAR is next.
From now on, I will be able to know Pap-Pap the person only through stories and photos, but I will learn more of Ralph Austin - the man, the father, the husband, the grandfather - through the wonderful family he and Nana helped create, and I can't think of a better tribute to him than saying what a wonderful impact he had on those who knew him, and how much the people who love them appreciate it.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Chris' Dream Burger
With its tower of meat (pronounced mee-aat), not only is it his dream burger, but the best part is that it is too big to microwave the next day....
Monday, June 16, 2008
Prom and Church
Chris kicked up the blogging thing this morning, and I'm going to follow in his procrastinating ways and make a post myself.
One thing that has happened since returning from Disney is Kaitlyn's prom. Meghan and I spent the weekend at the Johnson house, to help with the post-prom party and so that we could see Kaitlyn off to her senior prom, making her feel embarassed and uncomfortable. I truly have picked up this whole sibling thing very well.
On the way down to Connecticut, I started piecing things together and realized that I was going to be the only male in the house for most of the weekend: Mr. Johnson was at a race and Chris wasn't spending the weekend... On prom weekend... I started figuring out an escape plan in the car and never fully unpacked my bag, just in case.
Friday night was the night of the eyebrow plucking and waxing, which took only four people to accomplish, including the pluckee, Kaitlyn. Nothing like spending your Friday night watching girls wax their eyebrows. If this is what girls' slumber parties are like, then my life just got a little sadder.
Luckily there were no injuries and Kaitlyn emerged with great looking eye brows (because I'm such a friggin' eyebrow expert) and the full use of both of her eyelids. About halfway through the process, I slunk off and played Metroid on Wii.
Saturday was the big day and we actually escaped the full brunt of things since Meghan and I were off doing wedding errands. One of those things was going to the florist to drop off something for our wedding, but while there, we picked up the boutonnière for Kaitlyn to give to Andy and I met the store cat, Holly. Holly is a very beautiful, old, grey and creepy cat. Every time I moved my head to look at her, she moved her head at the same time in the same manner to look back at me with a soul piercing stare. It may have been enough to make me believe in reincarnation, since I'm pretty sure that cat was a person at some point. A very creepy person.
Chris stopped by the house to drop off Jenn's glasses, since she had left them there last time she was there (aren't you glad I explained that? How else would she have left them there?) but Chris mailed back the wrong pair of glasses back to her (which raises the question of how many extra pairs of glasses are lying around the house). He didn't even come in the house at first, and I went running out yelling "You're coming back, right!!?!?!?!" but he abandoned me for the weekend. I was thinking naughty words about him - ones that are wholly inappropriate for this blog.
Anyway, after finishing our errands, we ran the boutonnière back to the house. The florist had done this neat little wire daisy in red to add an accent color to Andy's flower to match Kaitlyn's dress. They did it for free and as a favor for us because we're having them do the wedding flowers. Kaitlyn applied her special super deflating power upon seeing it, claiming it was "nice" in the flattest tone possible.
This would be Kaitlyn if you gave her a Ferarri: "Oh, that's nice. Why is it red?" Kaitlyn if you gave her a million dollars: "Oh. Okay. I need to go talk to my friends online." Kaitlyn if you offered her world peace: "Oh. Why?"
Mary Pat has the glare, Kaitlyn has the "Oh." They both have similar results.
So where were we? Um... eyebrows, prom, flowers, making fun of Kaitlyn, me playing lots of violent video games to maintain some semblance of masculinity... that about sums up prom weekend.
That brings us to this past weekend. Chris did a good job summarizing it in his most recent post, but I have to elaborate on the homily. Out of all the homilies I've heard in all the times I've gone to mass, this is probably the worst. I sympathize with priests - it is tough to get up there week after week and give an interesting speech on on something relevant and meaningful to the congregation. But then there are times where it all just crashes and burns so badly, it makes you cringe, and Sunday was one of those times. Not only was it long (clocked in at around 30 minutes) and rambling (at least three major key points, all of which were unrelated) and thickly accented (not much you can do there, but it made it even more difficult to understand and pay attention) but he brought visual aids. An 8 x 10 photo. In a Cathedral. A big, cavernous Cathedral. We were pretty far up towards the front, so we could at least see that it was a photo - anyone sitting in the back must have wondered what was up with the postage stamp floating in front of the pulpit.
At one point, a guy in front of us actually put his head down on the pew in front of him. Looking around, no one in the church was paying attention. It was a life-changing mass: I bet at least five people changed religions after that homily.
I can't offer too much else other than saying that this whole graduation/college/wedding summer needs to end soon, or Mrs. Johnson might go careening off the precipice of sanity and right into the pit of insanity. While going to visit Pappap in the nursing home, she told Jenn that "we really need to get you a house for the key."
One thing that has happened since returning from Disney is Kaitlyn's prom. Meghan and I spent the weekend at the Johnson house, to help with the post-prom party and so that we could see Kaitlyn off to her senior prom, making her feel embarassed and uncomfortable. I truly have picked up this whole sibling thing very well.
On the way down to Connecticut, I started piecing things together and realized that I was going to be the only male in the house for most of the weekend: Mr. Johnson was at a race and Chris wasn't spending the weekend... On prom weekend... I started figuring out an escape plan in the car and never fully unpacked my bag, just in case.
Friday night was the night of the eyebrow plucking and waxing, which took only four people to accomplish, including the pluckee, Kaitlyn. Nothing like spending your Friday night watching girls wax their eyebrows. If this is what girls' slumber parties are like, then my life just got a little sadder.
Luckily there were no injuries and Kaitlyn emerged with great looking eye brows (because I'm such a friggin' eyebrow expert) and the full use of both of her eyelids. About halfway through the process, I slunk off and played Metroid on Wii.
Saturday was the big day and we actually escaped the full brunt of things since Meghan and I were off doing wedding errands. One of those things was going to the florist to drop off something for our wedding, but while there, we picked up the boutonnière for Kaitlyn to give to Andy and I met the store cat, Holly. Holly is a very beautiful, old, grey and creepy cat. Every time I moved my head to look at her, she moved her head at the same time in the same manner to look back at me with a soul piercing stare. It may have been enough to make me believe in reincarnation, since I'm pretty sure that cat was a person at some point. A very creepy person.
Chris stopped by the house to drop off Jenn's glasses, since she had left them there last time she was there (aren't you glad I explained that? How else would she have left them there?) but Chris mailed back the wrong pair of glasses back to her (which raises the question of how many extra pairs of glasses are lying around the house). He didn't even come in the house at first, and I went running out yelling "You're coming back, right!!?!?!?!" but he abandoned me for the weekend. I was thinking naughty words about him - ones that are wholly inappropriate for this blog.
Anyway, after finishing our errands, we ran the boutonnière back to the house. The florist had done this neat little wire daisy in red to add an accent color to Andy's flower to match Kaitlyn's dress. They did it for free and as a favor for us because we're having them do the wedding flowers. Kaitlyn applied her special super deflating power upon seeing it, claiming it was "nice" in the flattest tone possible.
This would be Kaitlyn if you gave her a Ferarri: "Oh, that's nice. Why is it red?" Kaitlyn if you gave her a million dollars: "Oh. Okay. I need to go talk to my friends online." Kaitlyn if you offered her world peace: "Oh. Why?"
Mary Pat has the glare, Kaitlyn has the "Oh." They both have similar results.
So where were we? Um... eyebrows, prom, flowers, making fun of Kaitlyn, me playing lots of violent video games to maintain some semblance of masculinity... that about sums up prom weekend.
That brings us to this past weekend. Chris did a good job summarizing it in his most recent post, but I have to elaborate on the homily. Out of all the homilies I've heard in all the times I've gone to mass, this is probably the worst. I sympathize with priests - it is tough to get up there week after week and give an interesting speech on on something relevant and meaningful to the congregation. But then there are times where it all just crashes and burns so badly, it makes you cringe, and Sunday was one of those times. Not only was it long (clocked in at around 30 minutes) and rambling (at least three major key points, all of which were unrelated) and thickly accented (not much you can do there, but it made it even more difficult to understand and pay attention) but he brought visual aids. An 8 x 10 photo. In a Cathedral. A big, cavernous Cathedral. We were pretty far up towards the front, so we could at least see that it was a photo - anyone sitting in the back must have wondered what was up with the postage stamp floating in front of the pulpit.
At one point, a guy in front of us actually put his head down on the pew in front of him. Looking around, no one in the church was paying attention. It was a life-changing mass: I bet at least five people changed religions after that homily.
I can't offer too much else other than saying that this whole graduation/college/wedding summer needs to end soon, or Mrs. Johnson might go careening off the precipice of sanity and right into the pit of insanity. While going to visit Pappap in the nursing home, she told Jenn that "we really need to get you a house for the key."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
