tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89604763336200945432024-03-14T05:03:31.196-04:00The Johnson VacationTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-37730373682757390252012-04-08T22:20:00.002-04:002012-04-08T22:28:21.358-04:00Mary Pat is a HoarderWe have decided we need to have an intervention for Mary Pat. In case you did not know she was going to park her car in the garage this winter....this did not happen. This is not even close to happening. We have now all (and by all I mean Derek, Myself, Stain, Emily and Foley (we know Jenn and Chris are with us as well) decided that the "black hole" or a garage needs to be cleaned out or Mary Pat needs to go on the show Hoarders. We have all placed bets on the completion date and they are as follows: Mary Pat 12/31/12, Dave 1/1/13, Derek 12/31/14 (he is thinking he will win), Stain 8/31/12 (She has no chance of winning), Foley 1/20/13 (he thinks he will win because Stain moves out before that) , Emily 3/13/13 and myself 2/13/13....Jenn and Chris need to add theirs still and this will be updated once they do.<br /><br />The rules are price is right rules and the winner gets $90. Add your dates in the comments below!TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-67250683866572144982008-11-28T16:48:00.001-05:002008-11-28T16:48:59.105-05:00fourth categoryThere is also a 4th category of houses...that which Chris makes.<br /><br />Bartles out!TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-2342192329833414332008-11-28T15:27:00.002-05:002008-11-28T15:37:43.043-05:00Chris Has IssuesAnyone else notice that Chris' blog has a lot of references to poop? I think he needs help.<br /><br />This is my second annual gingerbread house decorating day. Nothing like taking an already rambunctious family and loading them up with sugar, sugar and more sugar, lightly covered with a coating of fructose and sucrose. Jon's house collapsed under the weight of the candy roof and recognized it for what it.... a pile of candy and gingerbread, which IS kinda the point in the end. <br /><br />He was in the loud, crazy room. In the dining room were the serious folks. Chris was in there, but he should have been in the loud, crazy room, since he was trying to build a unicorn... house... thing... <br /><br />In this family, as in all families, gingerbread builders fall into three camps: 1) create a house that is as realistic as possible using candy for all the typical elements 2) Create a house that is decorated in a symmetrical - or at least creative - pattern, regardless of whether or not it recreates an actual house and 3) Believes that the entire purpose of the house is to serve as a candy carrier. Nothing wrong with either, but the enthusiasm vs. seriousness of the event varies with each. the realistic and pattern builders are far more serious and focus, where as the candy coaters would be content with a sandblaster of M&Ms and NECCO wafers aimed at a frosting covered gingerbread house.<br /><br />Things are getting almost eerily quiet now... most of the candy coaters are now playing Xbox or already hitting their sugar crash. The others are still focused on their houses. The adults are starting to clean up. I apologize in advance for the green food coloring stains on the kitchen floor....<br /><br />-DerekTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-76542513342731332952008-11-28T13:55:00.002-05:002008-11-28T15:19:56.071-05:00Middle of the end? Or the end of the middle? Or the second time I'm blogging? I don't know. I want to eat some candy.OK...so besides from being fun, this event has thus far been torturous...I can't eat any of the candy and I like most of the candy here. Emily just interrupted me and is telling everyone I am blogging. I'm going to poop on her house later. She ruins everything. Oh, wait. That's me. Where was I?<br /><br />I don't remember. I remember one time that I ate some candy from a bag of candy, and I only ate a piece or two, but then the whole bag was gone. Someone ate my candy and punched me in the stomach. Oh, I remember where I was now. Sorry. Diarrhea of the hands or typewriter or keyboard or notebook or whatever. <br /><br />So I couldn't eat any of the candy I used to make my gingerbread house/unicorn hybrid. I like unicorni. Sounds better than unicorns. Mine came out horribly because the good ideas in my head didn't look good when they actually got made. Plus, I didn't realize that Karyn, Katie, Bethy, Jenn, Emily, Carlye and Carlos take this <span style="font-style: italic;">very </span>seriously. I would have come prepared. I could make bricks like Karyn, or roofs with frosted mini-wheats like Carlos or something that didn't look like it came from Rudolf's butt like everyone else.<br /><br />They're talking about me blogging. Fooey on all of them.<br /><br />Back to the issues. I suck at this and, because it's my job, I ruin everything. Johnny's house fell over (I'm hiring him to build Jenn a house), as did Markies, I think. This is a very long middle of the evening/afternoon/day blog. <br /><br />Bartles out.TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-85622277139655921502008-11-28T13:52:00.002-05:002008-11-28T13:55:19.076-05:00I ruin everything!The time is now 1:52...eight minutes before the actual start of the day's events that will be described here. I, Christopher Bartles, have already been accused by <span style="font-style: italic;">everyone</span> of ruining everything, which I completely agree with, as well as relish in the fact that I can still work my elite magic. The topic for the day will be making Gingerbread houses. It is the day after Thanksgiving. The day's events have not even begun to unfurl...stay tuned...you will not be dissapointed.<br /><br />I'd say keep it disney, but I might not be able to if another person tells me I ruin everything. And the Malcs aren't even here yet...bring on the rubber gloves.<br /><br />Bartles out!TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-50086818824863523402008-11-10T11:00:00.002-05:002008-11-13T09:20:02.083-05:00MemoriamI wrote this back in mid-September and just wanted to post it now that some time has passed...<br /><br />This blog is usually full of hilarity and craziness from the Johnson family, but today I'm writing about something sad... the passing of Ralph Austin, a.k.a. "Pap-Pap." <br /><br />Unfortunately, by the time Meghan's and I met, Pap-Pap was what may be considered "past his prime," having already gone through heart surgery and suffering a stroke. But even at that stage, I could see the spark that is so evident in the rest of the family. So while I didn't get a chance to get to know him well, I have gotten to know those who were influenced so heavily by him: his family and friends. <br /><br />From them and their values, I think I have learned something of what it was like to know Pap-Pap. Among them: a strong sense of family and the importance of friends. A love of laughter and sharing good times. A passion for travel, science, camping and sports. I look at the family that he has helped to create and his imprint is all over: grandchildren who work in the sciences, close-knit families with strong bonds, laughter at every family gathering and even everyone's love for playing and watching sports. I can only imagine his pride in seeing his children and grandchildren (and someday great-grandchildren) carry on those values for other generations, and even into other families.<br /><br />Even though I didn't know Pap-Pap well and can only know what he was like through those who were influenced by him, I am grateful to him - his values helped to influence a family that I am soon to become part of, and for almost three years has welcomed me with open arms and a warm embrace. At the very least, I'm think he would be glad to know that because of knowing his family, I now enjoy camping and watching soccer games! We'll see if NASCAR is next.<br /><br />From now on, I will be able to know Pap-Pap the person only through stories and photos, but I will learn more of Ralph Austin - the man, the father, the husband, the grandfather - through the wonderful family he and Nana helped create, and I can't think of a better tribute to him than saying what a wonderful impact he had on those who knew him, and how much the people who love them appreciate it.TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-43851713153829882182008-07-22T09:07:00.003-04:002008-07-22T09:17:13.612-04:00Chris' Dream BurgerWith its tower of meat (pronounced mee-aat), not only is it his dream burger, but the best part is that it is too big to microwave the next day....<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_CDvjYD5jnLM/SIXdtvml4rI/AAAAAAAAAAU/2RiPnOixRk0/s1600-h/bigburger.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_CDvjYD5jnLM/SIXdtvml4rI/AAAAAAAAAAU/2RiPnOixRk0/s320/bigburger.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225826720575513266" border="0" /></a>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-69588844150840468922008-06-16T11:52:00.004-04:002008-11-13T09:28:01.208-05:00Prom and ChurchChris kicked up the blogging thing this morning, and I'm going to follow in his procrastinating ways and make a post myself.<br /><br />One thing that has happened since returning from Disney is Kaitlyn's prom. Meghan and I spent the weekend at the Johnson house, to help with the post-prom party and so that we could see Kaitlyn off to her senior prom, making her feel embarassed and uncomfortable. I truly have picked up this whole sibling thing very well.<br /><br />On the way down to Connecticut, I started piecing things together and realized that I was going to be the only male in the house for most of the weekend: Mr. Johnson was at a race and Chris wasn't spending the weekend... On prom weekend... I started figuring out an escape plan in the car and never fully unpacked my bag, just in case.<br /><br />Friday night was the night of the eyebrow plucking and waxing, which took only four people to accomplish, including the pluckee, Kaitlyn. Nothing like spending your Friday night watching girls wax their eyebrows. If this is what girls' slumber parties are like, then my life just got a little sadder.<br /><br />Luckily there were no injuries and Kaitlyn emerged with great looking eye brows (because I'm such a friggin' eyebrow expert) and the full use of both of her eyelids. About halfway through the process, I slunk off and played Metroid on Wii.<br /><br />Saturday was the big day and we actually escaped the full brunt of things since Meghan and I were off doing wedding errands. One of those things was going to the florist to drop off something for our wedding, but while there, we picked up the boutonnière for Kaitlyn to give to Andy and I met the store cat, Holly. Holly is a very beautiful, old, grey and <span style="font-style: italic;">creepy </span>cat. Every time I moved my head to look at her, she moved her head at the same time in the same manner to look back at me with a soul piercing stare. It may have been enough to make me believe in reincarnation, since I'm pretty sure that cat was a person at some point. A very creepy person.<br /><br />Chris stopped by the house to drop off Jenn's glasses, since she had left them there last time she was there (aren't you glad I explained that? How else would she have left them there?) but Chris mailed back the wrong pair of glasses back to her (which raises the question of how many extra pairs of glasses are lying around the house). He didn't even come in the house at first, and I went running out yelling "You're coming back, right!!?!?!?!" but he abandoned me for the weekend. I was thinking naughty words about him - ones that are wholly inappropriate for this blog.<br /><br />Anyway, after finishing our errands, we ran the boutonnière back to the house. The florist had done this neat little wire daisy in red to add an accent color to Andy's flower to match Kaitlyn's dress. They did it for free and as a favor for us because we're having them do the wedding flowers. Kaitlyn applied her special super deflating power upon seeing it, claiming it was "nice" in the flattest tone possible.<br /><br />This would be Kaitlyn if you gave her a Ferarri: "Oh, that's nice. Why is it red?" Kaitlyn if you gave her a million dollars: "Oh. Okay. I need to go talk to my friends online." Kaitlyn if you offered her world peace: "Oh. Why?"<br /><br />Mary Pat has the glare, Kaitlyn has the "Oh." They both have similar results.<br /><br />So where were we? Um... eyebrows, prom, flowers, making fun of Kaitlyn, me playing lots of violent video games to maintain some semblance of masculinity... that about sums up prom weekend.<br /><br />That brings us to this past weekend. Chris did a good job summarizing it in his most recent post, but I have to elaborate on the homily. Out of all the homilies I've heard in all the times I've gone to mass, this is probably the worst. I sympathize with priests - it is tough to get up there week after week and give an interesting speech on on something relevant and meaningful to the congregation. But then there are times where it all just crashes and burns so badly, it makes you cringe, and Sunday was one of those times. Not only was it long (clocked in at around 30 minutes) and rambling (at least three major key points, all of which were unrelated) and thickly accented (not much you can do there, but it made it even more difficult to understand and pay attention) but he brought visual aids. An 8 x 10 photo. In a Cathedral. A big, cavernous Cathedral. We were pretty far up towards the front, so we could at least see that it was a photo - anyone sitting in the back must have wondered what was up with the postage stamp floating in front of the pulpit.<br /><br />At one point, a guy in front of us actually put his head down on the pew in front of him. Looking around, no one in the church was paying attention. It was a life-changing mass: I bet at least five people changed religions after that homily.<br /><br />I can't offer too much else other than saying that this whole graduation/college/wedding summer needs to end soon, or Mrs. Johnson might go careening off the precipice of sanity and right into the pit of insanity. While going to visit Pappap in the nursing home, she told Jenn that "we really need to get you a house for the key."TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-18746314731851391122008-06-16T11:08:00.003-04:002008-06-16T11:36:25.521-04:00It's not our fault we're grouchy...So it has been months since anyone last blogged. So let me explain everything that has happened in the last few months since April. Wait, there's too much. Let me sum up. Stuff happened. I got a new job, and in fact, just gave my last final in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ansonia</span>. Now, I am super-<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">procrastinating</span> and blogging instead of grading/cleaning/packing to leave tomorrow. But, I have all day tomorrow, so nah! Oh, got off track...then other stuff happened, and now here we are, although I am actually (on the time-line) ahead of where I want to be. So let's step into my super-mega-silvery-time transportation vessel, and head back about 15 hours or so (give or take...mostly take).<br /><br />The time is now 11:15, but let's pretend it is 8:30 on Father's Day. The gang decided to take Mr. Johnson out to breakfast at the Casino, and, in order for Meghan and Derek to attend church on Sunday, we (they??) had to go to the Cathedral of St. Patrick (wasn't he the one who got the snake(s) out of Ireland? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">How'd</span> he get here? :-p) for the 9:00AM mass. But my pretend time is a little wrong. It is 8:50, and we're trying to get out the door. Jenn and I go in Jenn's car and the rest of the gang piles into the red van to make the 15-20 minute trek (no, there's not a time discrepancy...I don't know if the Johnson family can tell time on Sundays...:-p). Then it starts to <strong>rain</strong>...and I mean RAIN...it poured. So we made it to the Cathedral, and Jenn and I got the umbrella out of her car, and I started to close the trunk, and smacked her on the top of the head (a perfect, yet accidental, out, but we didn't know about the latter comments sooner...read on and you will understand) really hard. I still feel bad about it. She swore at me, and got yelled at. But I still feel bad.<br /><br />So here we are, all 8 of us, coming a minute or two (yeah, we made up 5 minutes or so on a 20 minute trip) late, and well all find a seat. It's not crowded (reasons why to come???). Its a nice mass; I like the Cathedral because its pretty. So then we get to the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">homily</span> (sorry about the spelling...I cant spell "spell" normally...) and the priest (who was Romanian or something) began his speech. It was like an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">inaugural</span> speech from a president of the USA...it just dragged on, and I couldn't understand it. Anyway, I won't go into any more detail, but just suffice to say that we were fighting 10:30 church people who were coming in when we left.<br /><br />So we head over to the Casino. Mohegan Sun, in case you don't know which one I'm referring to. We park in the Winter garage (which is the only one Mrs. Johnson knows about(aren't there four seasons? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ooo</span>...did I just type that?!?)). They are working on the casino, so there isn't an entrance from here to the Casino floor. So we take a shuttle bus to the Summer entrance (which had a parking garage) and begin the walk to the buffet. We get a bit down the hall, and this mean grouchy lady stops us because Katie and Em are not 21, so they can't walk through the casino. Which is a load of BS...but I'm not ranting in this blog...I'm just explaining what happened...its funny enough by itself. So, we have to go out (Mr. Johnson has said that we should give up and just leave at this point) and around through the Summer PARKING GARAGE and go to the pathway to the buffet. The girls stop to use the rest rooms, and Derek and I (mostly Derek) start looking up who the people in Ringo Starr's All Starr band are. One was the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">frontman</span> from Men at Work...<br /><br />So we finally get to the buffet...and the line is absolutely <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ridiculous</span>...I mean its probably two hours of waiting for a breakfast buffet that will be lunch by the time we get there. I vote to stay (hungry and not really thinking) and have a mini-meltdown when we leave. So we trek back through the Casino and the Summer garage and get back to the shuttle, and get back to the cars. Then Jenn flies through the parking garage and we go to Ed's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">restaurant</span> in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Montville</span>.<br /><br />It is at this point that Katie said something that we decided would have to be the title of this blog. She said "It's not our fault we're grouchy, its all your faults for not feeding us." Couldn't have put it better myself my friend (who is graduating in a few hours...I think...<strong>;-)</strong>) So we order a ton of food, and it all gets eaten. I have a hamburger that lasts me for the majority of the day. It was big and heavy in my stomach (and good, unlike the infamous Wendy's burger that I nuked in Florida...................vomit.....................) and I stayed full for most of the day.<br /><br />Then, Jenn and Katie went back to the house (after a fiasco about Jenn not having a house key??). As they walked past the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">restaurant</span> window, Meghan goes, "Hey, I know those people!"<br /><br />And I will end on that note...this is long enough :-)<br /><br /><strong>Keep it Disney!</strong><br /><br />~ChrisTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-71085085332558925682008-04-25T08:49:00.001-04:002008-04-25T08:54:09.221-04:00We Miss All The Good StuffIt was bad enough that The Simpsons ride wasn't open at Universal when we were there, but now I found out that we missed a 'gator wrestling demonstration at Disney as well.<br /><br />I had no idea that the <a href="http://jimhillmedia.com/blogs/jim_hill/archive/2008/04/23/alligator-alley.aspx">Magic Kingdom had an alligator infestation </a>problem. While we're at it, apparently there's a raccoon issue and buzzards attacking turtles as well. Can you imagine the poor kids who were looking at the cute little ducks and then saw the cool looking alligator, and then saw the cool looking alligator snap the heads off of the cute little ducks? Hysteria in Tomorrowland!!<br /><br />Moral of the story: never go into a Florida swamp - or the Magic Kingdom - without Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows.TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-51640588185972138602008-04-20T19:40:00.000-04:002008-04-20T19:41:08.727-04:00And the winner is….<p>What a surprise—I won! I never thought it was possible (NOT!). </p> <p>Of course I WAS the only one who could have possibly won. Each day I started the morning off by reminding them that if I’m happy everyone will be happy—if not, no one will be happy. (Not really, it was just something that was understood by ALL.)</p> <p>Seriously, I think we all won. We survived the week and we are still talking to each other, (I was worried that we wouldn’t see Derek and Meghan again until Oct. 4<sup>th</sup>).</p> <p>Thanks for a great vacation!</p> <p>MP, Mrs. J and Mom</p>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-40983896028100296912008-04-20T19:36:00.001-04:002008-04-20T19:40:16.370-04:00We're Home!!!!!!!!!!!<p class="MsoNormal">So we are home—I’m exhausted—and my knee is NEVER going to feel better (well at least for another month or so).<span style=""> </span>But it has all been well worth it.<span style=""> </span>Now that the trip is over I want to comment on some concerns that I had but didn’t share with anyone.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Concern #1:</b><span style=""> </span>I was very concerned about the six original family members spending 8 DAYS together under one roof.<span style=""> </span>This probably hasn’t happened since Meghan moved to MA several years ago.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Concern #2:<span style=""> </span></b>Hanging with the Johnsons.<span style=""> </span>My anxiety about this increased as I started to get mumblings back about the fast pace of the planned trip.<span style=""> </span>My concern was more for Derek who is not an “amusement park person” and I kept asking Meghan if he knew what he was in for.<span style=""> </span>Chris I knew would hang because he is an “amusement park person” but my concern with him was the low-sugar level (which took us 3 days to finally get right).</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Concern #3:<span style=""> </span></b>Living with the opposite sex.<span style=""> </span>Both Derek and Chris come from male dominated families plus Derek is an only child and Chris has only one brother.<span style=""> </span>The only experience they have had with living with females is on weekends when they are visiting 12 Ridge Court.<span style=""> </span>I don’t think I need to say anything more…..</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Concern #4:</b><span style=""> </span>Meltdowns!<span style=""> </span>They could get real ugly.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now that we have finished our vacation, I have to say that all my pre-vacation concerns were for not.<span style=""> </span>Derek and Chris were great and truly the survivors.<span style=""> </span>The 6 Johnsons for the most part got along.<span style=""> </span>The meltdowns were minimal (although daily) but everyone was able to rally and as Joan says “pull the plane up”.<span style=""> </span>I think the house was our saving factor—after very full and long days everyone could go to their own bedroom, the pool or the hot tub and just chill by themselves until they were ready to talk to others.<span style=""> </span>Also blogging about the day really helped since Derek and Chris’s take on each day was pretty funny, although you really had to be careful about what you said when they had a computer in front of them.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So now onto our next vacation which is camping at Sebago Lake.<span style=""> </span>Ummmm…. On second thought I think I’m going to go and read the definition for vacation that Derek was showing everyone mid-week.<span style=""> </span>I may have to think about this….</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">MP<b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></p>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-46843404565301672462008-04-19T18:11:00.003-04:002008-04-19T18:17:35.562-04:00I Need Sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!So I'm a little late in posting, but I was really busy packing and sleeping.....we didn't get enough sleep on this vacation. As you know I was voted off on thursday with Meghan because we all know mom would win and emily would go the last day, so the choice really was me or meghan. Who would guess there would be a tie?<br /><br />We made it home unscathed well at least partially. We actually left early from philly this time...go figure. Last time it was three hours late, this time it was thirty minutes early. I guess we weren't the only ones who wanted to get home.....<br /><br />JennTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-91853962215501759872008-04-18T19:03:00.003-04:002008-04-19T08:36:57.231-04:00Deprived ChildhoodEarlier in the week, Chris was wearing a "You died of dysentary" shirt. I thought it was funny, but really didn't "get it" until they someone explained that it was from a computer game called "Oregon Trail." This was a shocking and horrifying revelation to the entire clan. So this week, in between the rides and shows and not sleeping, I played my first game of Oregon Trail. I didn't actually finish, though I did pretty well for a first time playing the game. Only one person died of dysentary (Kaitlyn) and I was getting pretty close to the end, and then we had to pack.<br /><br />Speaking of packing, I have to say that Friday night and Saturday morning went about 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times better than I thought it would. There was some minimal yelling and pouting, and some very groggy people at 5:30 a.m. on Saturday, but nothing that I would call a complete and total Chernobyl-level meltdown. <br /><br />This morning we selected our winner of the vote-off: Mary Pat won, with Emily coming in second with two votes and Chris abstained from voting at all, the chicken. We all knew that MP was going to win in the end, so consider yourself as shocked as we were. We were more shocked that anyone had the nerve to vote for Emily!<br /><br />I am now at the the airport gate with Meghan, waiting for our flight home to Boston. I'm really tired. Meghan is sick. It has been a very long, tiring, but very fun and exciting week.TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-34832435183981391202008-04-18T19:00:00.003-04:002008-04-19T08:27:44.758-04:00Who makes up these Cockamamie Rules?!?!So on let's bring you all up to speed with the voting. On Wednesday we help our normal nightly vote and there was a tie between Jenn and myself. FYI from now on Emily will be referred to as Benedict Arnold.<br /><br />Since there was a tie someone decided that it would be a good idea to vote us both off - so we are off and no vote was held on Thursday.<br /><br />Stay tuned for the winner on Friday night<br /><br />MegTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-27406809083833285082008-04-18T07:21:00.003-04:002008-04-18T07:50:50.669-04:00The day at UniversalOh my gee golly gumpkins! I went on the Shrek 4D ride...wait...I'm getting ahead of myself.<br /><br />I love Disney. I love all the parks and all the cheesy rides and all that jazz. But Universal has become my new mistress. You know, the park on the side...just don't tell Disney. I can't afford the Disney Vacation Club membership ($16,000+) to calm Disney down.<br /><br />Anyway...the rides at Universal were so much cooler than the rides at Disney. The movies are a bit cooler. So, let me give you a rundown of the day. (NOTE: DISNEY RIDES ARE MUCH MORE CLASSIC AND WHEN KATIE AND I TAKE MEGHAN AND DEREK'S KIDS, WE WILL ONLY DO DISNEY.)<br /><br />We first saw that the Simpson's ride wasn't open (doh!) but Derek and Meghan stopped at the Kiwk-e-Mart. The phone lines went down so they couldn't pay with credit card. And apparently the fake-Abu was a bit on the slow side. Katie's melt-down-o-meter was spiking. She needs to chill. Mine was near spiking too (because she wouldn't shut up). I need to do crack.<br /><br />Then we hit Men In Black: Alien Attack. Which was wicked awesome! We got a nice picture, although I uber-sucked. After MIB, we went to Jaws, which was kinda cool, although it was kinda cheesy. There was fire. Fire made it better. Post-Jaws we went on Mummy...which was freaking awesome! It could have gone faster, but that only would have made it more awesomer.<br /><br />We did Twister, thinking that it was a spinny ride, but it was kinda cheesy. But without fire. I saw the Blues Brothers (in the Blues-mobile with the speaker...aren't you jealous, Ross???) and we ate and did Fear Factor Live. I almost queefed. Not because of the Fear Factor crap, but because the melon I ate was rotten and made me feel greener than the microwaved Wendy's burger. After near-vomitation, we began the walk out of the park, which still involved hitting several attractions.<br /><br />We saw the Rocky Horror Universal Make-up Show thing activity...which was definitely not KID (Keep it Disney). It was awesome. Then we did ET (maybe reverse order...I don't really remember...it's just a big fun (?) blur) which was so cool. The ET looked at me!! It looked at me!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! And it said my name!<br /><br />Terminator 2 3D was awesome...best 3D effects I've seen in Orlando. Don't think that it freaked Mrs. J out as much, because we didn't hear her scream. Then we did Jimmy Neutron's ride which was like Star Tours, just not Star Wars-y. Then we did Shrek, which was awesome (albeit just Shrek 3-D on comfy massage-y chairs). I love Shrek. I got a stuffed Shrek, a stuffed Donkey and a stuffed Puss in Boots. Then we did more shopping and ate at Hard Rock cafe. Where I sat in a room with a bass from John Entwhistle, an acoustic from Carlos Santana, an acoustic from Neil Young and a guitar from Jimi Hendrix! What a room! All my guitar idols in one room. Then we went mini golfing.<br /><br />Katie and Jenn whined so much that we didn't do the mini golf course that I had wanted to go do. We had fun, but I was the one who wanted to golf...it's OK...I'm going to spit on Katie (by accident) on one of the rides.<br /><br />We're off to Islands of Adventure today. I'm so excited I almost peed myself. Well, that reason and the fact that I drank about a million lemonades before dinner yesterday and we only have 3 potties.<br /><br />~Chris<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Keep it Disney.</span>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-89883502646669638472008-04-17T08:08:00.002-04:002008-04-17T08:11:12.951-04:00FightMeg and Katie were fighting about the use of a towel. Apparently Meghan put her towel on the door and Katie has been using it to dry her butt for the past couple days. Meg complained and it snowballed. I don't think its a big deal. Towels are made to dry. They don't absorb grossness. Duh.<br /><br />Now Katie is happy and Meg is still mad. This will be a good day.<br /><br />Mrs. J just yelled at Katie for whistling. Meltdown meters are spiking. Today is the day.<br /><br />~Chris<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Keep it Disney.</span>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-71745367093866259052008-04-17T07:35:00.002-04:002008-04-17T07:52:05.251-04:00The day of restSo everyone is waking up for Universal today and it is not pretty. Em is the worst that I have ever seen her. Worse than Katie plus Meg combined and added with yellow jackets on crack. No offense Em. Really, I don't mean to be mean. <br /><br />So anyway, tomorrow, I mean yesterday yesterday yesterday! Yesterday we hit test track at Epcot (the Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow) and got in line for Maelstrom at Norway or Sweden or something European or at least non-American place. So then it broke. Our luck on this trip...<br /><br />Then we got on the monorail (what did he say? MONORAIL!) and headed to MK again to hit some rides. Katie and Em and I ran (walked fast with no one chastising us) to Splash Mountain/Thunder Mountain to get Fastpassi for Thunder Mountain. Then we regrouped and took Mrs. J on Splash Mountain. We think she liked it. At least she lived. If she had died, we never would have heard the end of it. <br /><br />Then we did some more stuff and then ate and then got hats with Mickey Ears and then did the Haunted Mansion. It scared Katie...I heard her scream. Must have seen a ghost that looked like me. Then we did Peter Pan which was cool if I was 5. Pooh was better. I like Pooh (not to be confused with poo).<br /><br />Finished the park and got a picture with the personalized Mickey ears and left. Back on the monorail (what did he say? MONORAIL!) [note: Damn raccoons just ate my sandwich. Can't finish blog now because I must go hunting.]<br />to EPCOT and then we went to Downtown Disney for a dinner at the Planet Hollywood restaurant where they had the music so loud I can't hear myself blog. LOL...ehh, not so much. Katie is wearing a towel on her head that looks like a turban. So is Jenn. Derek is playing the Simpson's game. I am blogging.<br /><br />After dinner, Mr. J and I walked across Pleasure Island (we may or may not have partaken in the Pleasure-ness...but what happens in PI stays in PI.) and met the gang in World of Disney. Yes, we decided to get together in the biggest store (like meeting in Macy's according to Derek) in all of Downtown Disney. So we did meet up and then we did more stuff and then left.<br /><br />So now here I am blogging quickly before I need to complete my preparations for Johnson Family Vacation Total Domination...wait...<br /><br />~Chris<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Keep it Disney.</span>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-9774841902363712442008-04-16T08:42:00.002-04:002008-04-16T08:55:30.798-04:00Disney Songwriting MagicOr should I say evil power? After five days, I have a disturbing mix of various Disney songs stuck in my head. Alternately, I find myself humming, whistling or singing any and/or all of the following: "When You Wish Upon A Star," "Belle" ("This Provencal Life..." song), "Beauty and the Beast," "Under the Sea," "The Muppet Show Theme," "The Nutcracker Suite" from Fantasia, and I'm sure about five other things. The bad part is that they are all blending together, with lyrics from one song being sung in my head to the tune of other songs, with lyrics and tunes alternating lines with various tempos and songs. <br /><br />Help me.<br /><br />-DerekTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-15041569571669577162008-04-16T07:50:00.002-04:002008-04-16T08:18:39.887-04:00The day at pffffffffffttttttttttttttSo we got up early and made it to the Park Formerly Known as MGM (now known as Hollywood Studios or, as we call it, pffffffttttttttt). We got there right as it opened, and Katie and I had the idea (along with every single other person who ever once thought of going to pffffffttttttttt ever once since Aerosmith joined forces with Disney to create the most awesomest rollercoaster of uber rollercoasterness) to get a Fastpass for Rockin' Roller Coaster. So Katie and I took 6 tickets (Em and Mrs. J forwent (forgoed?) the ride) to get in line for Fastpassi (plural of Fastpasses) It was broke. I cried.<br /><br />So we waited for the rest of the family, and decided to go on Tower of Terror. So we got some Fastpassi, and went off to see the wizard. And by wizard, I mean several of the other rides/attractions. I got an uber-cool pin that had Yoda (with personalized Mickey Ears) who isn't 40" so he couldn't get on a ride. It also said "Judge me by my size, do you?" <br /><br />Then we went on Tower of Terror. I'm not a big fan of free-fall rides, but this one was freakin' AWESOME!!!!! I love ToT. LOVE LOVE LOVE! Then we did other stuff and then we (Emily and I) got Fastpassi for Rockin' Roller Coaster and then we did more stuff.<br /><br />We went back to RRC and the Fastpass line was longer than the regular line. Then it closed. I cried. Again. So we did more stuff (including food, I think) and began to have several mini-meltdowns. Did some shows and stuff then finally went to RRC and had a 15 minute wait in fastpass. It was awesome. The picture of Meg, Derek (yes, he went on this one) Jenn and I is pretty cool. Meghan looks like she is pooing herself. I look funny. But what's new? <br /><br />So we then went to see Fantasmic. Which was cool. If I was five. Sorry to anyone who really liked it, but I didn't. It needed more fire/fireballs/fireworks/big huge dragon fight. <br /><br />So then we left. We did this park in one day.<br /><br />WOOOOOO! Off to hit multiple parks to do what we didn't have time to do because no one walks as fast as Katie and I.<br /><br />~Chris<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Keep it Disney.</span>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-18071091092913982752008-04-16T07:47:00.002-04:002008-04-16T07:50:08.967-04:00Dave's Voting Off BlogHere we are at the end of the fourth day and I'm off. The girls have completed their power move and now no man is left. Oh yes, they did get Kaitlyn on day 2, just had to have the whine to go with the cheese we were having.<br />Will the claws come out now? (Chris's response: no, you're a little late...claws already came out.)TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-74300039827077918182008-04-15T23:26:00.002-04:002008-04-15T23:41:46.826-04:00And On the Fifth Day We Tried to RestTomorrow (Wednesday), we have a planned "rest day" - a day for us to feel like we're actually on vacation, not just rushing around from ride to ride, spending a week building up our glutes and calves standing in line. According to the Bible, God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th, but for the Johnson family vacation, but we're only making it to five.<br /><br />However, we have scheduled a few activities, just because we need to do some "cleaning up" with some rides and attractions and other activities. Think of it as cleaning up some sutures after a bizarre triple appendectomy. A list:<br /><br /><ul><li>Leave the house at 8:30 a.m. Yes, leave the house at 8:30 on our vacation rest day. We're crazy. Loco. Loopy. But we're living "La Vida Mickey"! </li><li>Drive to Epcot and park car</li><li>Run (and I do mean RUN) on our bloody stumps of feet to the Test Track and either get right on or get a Fast Pass</li><li>If we have a Fast Pass, go to either the Nemo exhibit or to Norway (the country exhibit, not the country itself. We're not THAT aggressive!) for the Maelstrom ride. </li><li>After wrapping things up at Epcot, take the Monorail (because there's nothing quite like a genuine, bonafide, electrified six-car monorail!) to the Magic Kingdom</li><li>Take the train to the back of the park and then hit the following rides: </li><li>Peter Pan </li><li>Splash Mountain </li><li>Thunder Mountain Railroad</li><li>Pirates of the Caribbean</li><li>Tiki Room (if time) </li><li>Haunted Mansion</li><li>Country Bear Jamboree (if time)</li><li>Take monorail back to Epcot</li><li>Go play mini golf at the Fantasia Gardens</li><li>Dinner in downtown Disney </li></ul><br />Like I said, just a few clean up things. Four of the most popular rides at the Magic Kingdom, quite possibly the most popular ride at Epcot, and a round of mini-golf thrown in for good measure.<br /><br />I don't know what else I can possibly say to make this funnier. Truth is sometimes funny enough. <br /><br />Good thing we had a rest day. If we had tried doing all of this in a day less, we'd be dead. <br /><br />If anyone from work is reading this, I'll be back in on Monday, but don't call, email, or knock on my door. I'll be curled up under my desk, sleeping.<br /><br />-DerekTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-67843820405777310122008-04-15T23:02:00.002-04:002008-04-15T23:04:45.523-04:00OMG!!!Derek has never played Oregon Trail! He has had a very sad childhood. This is such a big development that I felt the need to blog about it since I was so shocked. This was found when Chris appeared in the kitchen with a shirt that read "You have died of Dysentery", which we all laughed at... except Derek. <br /><br />KJTheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-86724120495618243772008-04-15T22:51:00.004-04:002008-04-15T23:08:31.471-04:00Explaining The Voting Off Process<p>There has been some confusion and inquiries regarding the voting off process we've been reporting on here. While there aren't really any specific guidelines, the following have gradually evolved as reasons for getting voted off: </p><ul><li>Any sort of metldowns and/or mental breakdowns immediately puts you on the potential voting off list </li><li>Not having 100% pure Johnson blood makes you a candidate. Of course, by the strictest standards of genetics, that TECHNICALLY means that Mary Pat should be voted off, but... umm.... well, we all know that's not going to happen</li><li>Whoever Meghan, Mary Pat and Kaitlyn decides. Since there's really no penalty for voting off and everyone gets to vote again the next day, so as long as they are all voting, whoever they decide to vote off is going, since Emily, Dave, Jenn and myself don't have our act together enough to create an alliance of our own. </li></ul><p>Penalties of being voted off: </p><ul><li>You're supposed to do the dishes or something like that, but it really hasn't worked out too much that way. I think Chris did dishes one day and Kaitlyn helped dry. Derek hasn't done anything (hehehehe) </li><li>You get to soak in the hot tub of despair... which really is badly planned out penalty </li><li>You have to blog about it getting voted off </li></ul><p>Pretty much the pointless process you would expect. This coming from a group of people mapping out each day with military-level precision.</p><p>-Derek</p>TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8960476333620094543.post-11112818471936797672008-04-15T22:27:00.003-04:002008-04-15T22:50:46.724-04:00April 14th Voting ResultsOn April Fourtheenth, in the year of our Lord two thousand and eight, I (Derek) became the third person to be voted off of the Johnson Family Vacation.<br /><br />Chris went first, primarily because he wasn't a "pureblood" Johnson but also because of the crashing sugar level meltdown.<br /><br />Kaitlyn went second, because, well, because voting her off the first day was too obvious.<br /><br />I went third because I wasn't a pureblood and because I had "crazy eyes" to quote Meghan. Those crazy eyes were fully justified.<br /><br />All in all, I wasn't surprised or dissapointed. I knew the non-Johnsons were targeted first and the fact that I outlasted at least one of them is pretty good. It was about as surprising as the Snow White or Winnie the Pooh rides at the Magic Kingdom.TheJohnsonVacationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01502643717650524350noreply@blogger.com0