Prom and Church

Chris kicked up the blogging thing this morning, and I'm going to follow in his procrastinating ways and make a post myself.

One thing that has happened since returning from Disney is Kaitlyn's prom. Meghan and I spent the weekend at the Johnson house, to help with the post-prom party and so that we could see Kaitlyn off to her senior prom, making her feel embarassed and uncomfortable. I truly have picked up this whole sibling thing very well.

On the way down to Connecticut, I started piecing things together and realized that I was going to be the only male in the house for most of the weekend: Mr. Johnson was at a race and Chris wasn't spending the weekend... On prom weekend... I started figuring out an escape plan in the car and never fully unpacked my bag, just in case.

Friday night was the night of the eyebrow plucking and waxing, which took only four people to accomplish, including the pluckee, Kaitlyn. Nothing like spending your Friday night watching girls wax their eyebrows. If this is what girls' slumber parties are like, then my life just got a little sadder.

Luckily there were no injuries and Kaitlyn emerged with great looking eye brows (because I'm such a friggin' eyebrow expert) and the full use of both of her eyelids. About halfway through the process, I slunk off and played Metroid on Wii.

Saturday was the big day and we actually escaped the full brunt of things since Meghan and I were off doing wedding errands. One of those things was going to the florist to drop off something for our wedding, but while there, we picked up the boutonnière for Kaitlyn to give to Andy and I met the store cat, Holly. Holly is a very beautiful, old, grey and creepy cat. Every time I moved my head to look at her, she moved her head at the same time in the same manner to look back at me with a soul piercing stare. It may have been enough to make me believe in reincarnation, since I'm pretty sure that cat was a person at some point. A very creepy person.

Chris stopped by the house to drop off Jenn's glasses, since she had left them there last time she was there (aren't you glad I explained that? How else would she have left them there?) but Chris mailed back the wrong pair of glasses back to her (which raises the question of how many extra pairs of glasses are lying around the house). He didn't even come in the house at first, and I went running out yelling "You're coming back, right!!?!?!?!" but he abandoned me for the weekend. I was thinking naughty words about him - ones that are wholly inappropriate for this blog.

Anyway, after finishing our errands, we ran the boutonnière back to the house. The florist had done this neat little wire daisy in red to add an accent color to Andy's flower to match Kaitlyn's dress. They did it for free and as a favor for us because we're having them do the wedding flowers. Kaitlyn applied her special super deflating power upon seeing it, claiming it was "nice" in the flattest tone possible.

This would be Kaitlyn if you gave her a Ferarri: "Oh, that's nice. Why is it red?" Kaitlyn if you gave her a million dollars: "Oh. Okay. I need to go talk to my friends online." Kaitlyn if you offered her world peace: "Oh. Why?"

Mary Pat has the glare, Kaitlyn has the "Oh." They both have similar results.

So where were we? Um... eyebrows, prom, flowers, making fun of Kaitlyn, me playing lots of violent video games to maintain some semblance of masculinity... that about sums up prom weekend.

That brings us to this past weekend. Chris did a good job summarizing it in his most recent post, but I have to elaborate on the homily. Out of all the homilies I've heard in all the times I've gone to mass, this is probably the worst. I sympathize with priests - it is tough to get up there week after week and give an interesting speech on on something relevant and meaningful to the congregation. But then there are times where it all just crashes and burns so badly, it makes you cringe, and Sunday was one of those times. Not only was it long (clocked in at around 30 minutes) and rambling (at least three major key points, all of which were unrelated) and thickly accented (not much you can do there, but it made it even more difficult to understand and pay attention) but he brought visual aids. An 8 x 10 photo. In a Cathedral. A big, cavernous Cathedral. We were pretty far up towards the front, so we could at least see that it was a photo - anyone sitting in the back must have wondered what was up with the postage stamp floating in front of the pulpit.

At one point, a guy in front of us actually put his head down on the pew in front of him. Looking around, no one in the church was paying attention. It was a life-changing mass: I bet at least five people changed religions after that homily.

I can't offer too much else other than saying that this whole graduation/college/wedding summer needs to end soon, or Mrs. Johnson might go careening off the precipice of sanity and right into the pit of insanity. While going to visit Pappap in the nursing home, she told Jenn that "we really need to get you a house for the key."

It's not our fault we're grouchy...

So it has been months since anyone last blogged. So let me explain everything that has happened in the last few months since April. Wait, there's too much. Let me sum up. Stuff happened. I got a new job, and in fact, just gave my last final in Ansonia. Now, I am super-procrastinating and blogging instead of grading/cleaning/packing to leave tomorrow. But, I have all day tomorrow, so nah! Oh, got off track...then other stuff happened, and now here we are, although I am actually (on the time-line) ahead of where I want to be. So let's step into my super-mega-silvery-time transportation vessel, and head back about 15 hours or so (give or take...mostly take).

The time is now 11:15, but let's pretend it is 8:30 on Father's Day. The gang decided to take Mr. Johnson out to breakfast at the Casino, and, in order for Meghan and Derek to attend church on Sunday, we (they??) had to go to the Cathedral of St. Patrick (wasn't he the one who got the snake(s) out of Ireland? How'd he get here? :-p) for the 9:00AM mass. But my pretend time is a little wrong. It is 8:50, and we're trying to get out the door. Jenn and I go in Jenn's car and the rest of the gang piles into the red van to make the 15-20 minute trek (no, there's not a time discrepancy...I don't know if the Johnson family can tell time on Sundays...:-p). Then it starts to rain...and I mean RAIN...it poured. So we made it to the Cathedral, and Jenn and I got the umbrella out of her car, and I started to close the trunk, and smacked her on the top of the head (a perfect, yet accidental, out, but we didn't know about the latter comments sooner...read on and you will understand) really hard. I still feel bad about it. She swore at me, and got yelled at. But I still feel bad.

So here we are, all 8 of us, coming a minute or two (yeah, we made up 5 minutes or so on a 20 minute trip) late, and well all find a seat. It's not crowded (reasons why to come???). Its a nice mass; I like the Cathedral because its pretty. So then we get to the homily (sorry about the spelling...I cant spell "spell" normally...) and the priest (who was Romanian or something) began his speech. It was like an inaugural speech from a president of the USA...it just dragged on, and I couldn't understand it. Anyway, I won't go into any more detail, but just suffice to say that we were fighting 10:30 church people who were coming in when we left.

So we head over to the Casino. Mohegan Sun, in case you don't know which one I'm referring to. We park in the Winter garage (which is the only one Mrs. Johnson knows about(aren't there four seasons? ooo...did I just type that?!?)). They are working on the casino, so there isn't an entrance from here to the Casino floor. So we take a shuttle bus to the Summer entrance (which had a parking garage) and begin the walk to the buffet. We get a bit down the hall, and this mean grouchy lady stops us because Katie and Em are not 21, so they can't walk through the casino. Which is a load of BS...but I'm not ranting in this blog...I'm just explaining what happened...its funny enough by itself. So, we have to go out (Mr. Johnson has said that we should give up and just leave at this point) and around through the Summer PARKING GARAGE and go to the pathway to the buffet. The girls stop to use the rest rooms, and Derek and I (mostly Derek) start looking up who the people in Ringo Starr's All Starr band are. One was the frontman from Men at Work...

So we finally get to the buffet...and the line is absolutely ridiculous...I mean its probably two hours of waiting for a breakfast buffet that will be lunch by the time we get there. I vote to stay (hungry and not really thinking) and have a mini-meltdown when we leave. So we trek back through the Casino and the Summer garage and get back to the shuttle, and get back to the cars. Then Jenn flies through the parking garage and we go to Ed's restaurant in Montville.

It is at this point that Katie said something that we decided would have to be the title of this blog. She said "It's not our fault we're grouchy, its all your faults for not feeding us." Couldn't have put it better myself my friend (who is graduating in a few hours...I think...;-)) So we order a ton of food, and it all gets eaten. I have a hamburger that lasts me for the majority of the day. It was big and heavy in my stomach (and good, unlike the infamous Wendy's burger that I nuked in Florida...................vomit.....................) and I stayed full for most of the day.

Then, Jenn and Katie went back to the house (after a fiasco about Jenn not having a house key??). As they walked past the restaurant window, Meghan goes, "Hey, I know those people!"

And I will end on that note...this is long enough :-)

Keep it Disney!

~Chris

We Miss All The Good Stuff

It was bad enough that The Simpsons ride wasn't open at Universal when we were there, but now I found out that we missed a 'gator wrestling demonstration at Disney as well.

I had no idea that the Magic Kingdom had an alligator infestation problem. While we're at it, apparently there's a raccoon issue and buzzards attacking turtles as well. Can you imagine the poor kids who were looking at the cute little ducks and then saw the cool looking alligator, and then saw the cool looking alligator snap the heads off of the cute little ducks? Hysteria in Tomorrowland!!

Moral of the story: never go into a Florida swamp - or the Magic Kingdom - without Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows.

And the winner is….

What a surprise—I won! I never thought it was possible (NOT!).

Of course I WAS the only one who could have possibly won. Each day I started the morning off by reminding them that if I’m happy everyone will be happy—if not, no one will be happy. (Not really, it was just something that was understood by ALL.)

Seriously, I think we all won. We survived the week and we are still talking to each other, (I was worried that we wouldn’t see Derek and Meghan again until Oct. 4^th).

Thanks for a great vacation!

MP, Mrs. J and Mom

We're Home!!!!!!!!!!!

So we are home—I’m exhausted—and my knee is NEVER going to feel better (well at least for another month or so). But it has all been well worth it. Now that the trip is over I want to comment on some concerns that I had but didn’t share with anyone.

Concern #1: I was very concerned about the six original family members spending 8 DAYS together under one roof. This probably hasn’t happened since Meghan moved to MA several years ago.

Concern #2: Hanging with the Johnsons. My anxiety about this increased as I started to get mumblings back about the fast pace of the planned trip. My concern was more for Derek who is not an “amusement park person” and I kept asking Meghan if he knew what he was in for. Chris I knew would hang because he is an “amusement park person” but my concern with him was the low-sugar level (which took us 3 days to finally get right).

Concern #3: Living with the opposite sex. Both Derek and Chris come from male dominated families plus Derek is an only child and Chris has only one brother. The only experience they have had with living with females is on weekends when they are visiting 12 Ridge Court. I don’t think I need to say anything more…..

Concern #4: Meltdowns! They could get real ugly.

Now that we have finished our vacation, I have to say that all my pre-vacation concerns were for not. Derek and Chris were great and truly the survivors. The 6 Johnsons for the most part got along. The meltdowns were minimal (although daily) but everyone was able to rally and as Joan says “pull the plane up”. I think the house was our saving factor—after very full and long days everyone could go to their own bedroom, the pool or the hot tub and just chill by themselves until they were ready to talk to others. Also blogging about the day really helped since Derek and Chris’s take on each day was pretty funny, although you really had to be careful about what you said when they had a computer in front of them.

So now onto our next vacation which is camping at Sebago Lake. Ummmm…. On second thought I think I’m going to go and read the definition for vacation that Derek was showing everyone mid-week. I may have to think about this….

MP

I Need Sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I'm a little late in posting, but I was really busy packing and sleeping.....we didn't get enough sleep on this vacation. As you know I was voted off on thursday with Meghan because we all know mom would win and emily would go the last day, so the choice really was me or meghan. Who would guess there would be a tie?

We made it home unscathed well at least partially. We actually left early from philly this time...go figure. Last time it was three hours late, this time it was thirty minutes early. I guess we weren't the only ones who wanted to get home.....

Jenn

Deprived Childhood

Earlier in the week, Chris was wearing a "You died of dysentary" shirt. I thought it was funny, but really didn't "get it" until they someone explained that it was from a computer game called "Oregon Trail." This was a shocking and horrifying revelation to the entire clan. So this week, in between the rides and shows and not sleeping, I played my first game of Oregon Trail. I didn't actually finish, though I did pretty well for a first time playing the game. Only one person died of dysentary (Kaitlyn) and I was getting pretty close to the end, and then we had to pack.

Speaking of packing, I have to say that Friday night and Saturday morning went about 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times better than I thought it would. There was some minimal yelling and pouting, and some very groggy people at 5:30 a.m. on Saturday, but nothing that I would call a complete and total Chernobyl-level meltdown.

This morning we selected our winner of the vote-off: Mary Pat won, with Emily coming in second with two votes and Chris abstained from voting at all, the chicken. We all knew that MP was going to win in the end, so consider yourself as shocked as we were. We were more shocked that anyone had the nerve to vote for Emily!

I am now at the the airport gate with Meghan, waiting for our flight home to Boston. I'm really tired. Meghan is sick. It has been a very long, tiring, but very fun and exciting week.